Parenthood....Why Do We Engage In This Insanity?

Someone once told me that God makes children cute on purpose.....so they can survive to adulthood.  I can't help but agree....

 Before you start getting all sanctimonious with me and giving me the hairy eyeball....think about the last time you survived a week on 1.5hrs sleep and half a packet of Peanut M&M's as your only sustenance besides coffee. Oh, and those endless cups of coffee you made....you NEVER got to drink them hot.

What did you come up with?

Me? I simply recalled that time period between birth and age 3.
 Neither of my kids came with a genetic structure that made them sleep through the night until that point.

My daughter (now 17) early on, figured out how to flip herself out of her crib and go exploring. Once pulling all the books off the bookshelf and the VHS tapes (remember those?) out of the entertainment center lost it's appeal; she'd come into my bedroom to "stalk" me like a mini terrorist.

Her favorite form of torture? There were two main ones really.

1. Get as close as humanly possible to mother without actually touching her and STARE!!! If she happens to wake up....it's pretty damn terrifying at 3am to have a toddler staring you down so closely that their eyes merge into one huge cyclops eye. That big blinking cyclops eye combined with hot milky breath all packed into some terrifying evil garden gnome creature will test ANY mother's love!!
              1b: If above scenario does NOT wake mother up (She is, after all, sleep-deprived since about her 7th month of pregnancy up to that point.) Said mini terrorist will then grab her eyelids and pry them open with fat little fingers and stage whisper...
 "You 'wake?!"
This is not a question, this is a DEMAND!

2. Pull back the bedcovers just enough to locate sleeping mother's nipples; grab the nearest nipple (or the furthest one...whatever) and.............PULL!!!........as hard as you can. Watch mother wake instantly, howling in pain and shock and then proceed to fall on your bottom beside the bed and scream bloody murder because SHE scared YOU!

** By the way, this incident ended my days of sleeping nude! **

Now my son (now 8), was a bit more subdued....he didn't require my company for entertainment....just my absence.

This was the child who always embraced his artistic side. Before he could leave his crib he tended to go all Warhol-esque and use his bodily fluids or....well, you know....to decorate the crib, himself and the walls.

Once he became mobile and could also flip himself out of his crib then he would head straight for anything electronic and disassemble it. (Try explaining to your boss that you're late for work because your two year old took apart your alarm clock....seriously try it!)

Is anyone surprised I only have two children?

Yeah, me neither. This is why I chose to go into business really. I needed all that stress, sleeplessness, and lack of social life to function properly. I traded more stretchmarks for more stress wrinkles. A-hem....

Seriously though, back to the parenthood thing~

You love them with all your heart and you'd go through it ALL again because you can't imagine life without them....but.....  I think that's part of the plan...it's part of that parental brain damage we all share.

Today a friend of mine shared this list for prospective parents with me.

 I found myself wiping away tears of mirth, I hope it gives you a chuckle too.

Love,

Brittany xx

Ready to have kids?? take the test!

Test 1: Preparation

Women: To prepare for pregnancy:
1.Put on a dressing gown and stick a beanbag down the front.
2.Leave it there.
3.After nine months, remove 5 per cent of the beans.
Men: To prepare for children:
1.Go to a local chemist. Tip the contents of your wallet on to the counter and tell the pharmacist to help himself.
2.Go to the supermarket. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to its head office.
3.Go home. Pick up the newspaper and read it for the last time.

Test 2: Knowledge

Find a couple who are already parents and berate them about their methods of discipline, lack of patience, appallingly low tolerance levels and how they have allowed their children to run wild.
Suggest ways in which they might improve their child’s sleeping habits, toilet training, table manners and overall behavior.
Enjoy it. It will be the last time in your life when you will have all the answers.

Test 3: Nights

1.Walk around the living room from 5pm to 10pm carrying a wet bag weighing 4-6kg, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly.
2.At 10pm, put the bag down, set the alarm for midnight and go to sleep.
3.Get up at 11pm and walk the bag around the living room until 1am.
4. Set the alarm for 3am.
5. As you can’t get back to sleep, get up at 2am and make a cup of tea.
6.Go to bed at 2.45am.
7. Get up again at 3am when the alarm goes off.
8.Sing songs in the dark until 4am.
9.Put the alarm on for 5am. Get up when it goes off.
10.Make breakfast.
Keep this up for five years — and LOOK CHEERFUL.

Test 4: Dressing small children

1.Buy a real life octopus and string bag with holes in it.
2.Attempt to put the octopus into the string bag so that no tentacles come out of the holes.
Time allowed: five minutes.

Test 5: Cars

1.Forget the BMW. Buy a practical five-door wagon.
2.Buy a chocolate ice-cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there.
3.Get a coin. Insert it into the CD player.
4.Take a box of chocolate biscuits. Mash them into the back seat.
5.Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

Test 6: Going for a walk

1.Wait.
2.Go out the front door.
3.Come back in again.
4.Go out.
5.Come back in again.
6.Go out again.
7.Walk down the front path.
8.Walk back up it.
9.Walk down it again.
10.Walk very slowly down the road for five minutes.
11.Stop, inspect minutely and ask at least six questions about every piece of used chewing gum, dirty tissue and dead insect along the way.
12.Retrace your steps.
13.Scream that you’ve had as much as you can stand, until the neighbours come out and stare at you.
14.Give up and go back in the house.

Test 7: Conversations with children

Repeat everything you say at least five times.

Test 8: Grocery shopping

1.Go to the local supermarket. Take with you the nearest thing you can find to a pre-school child — a fully grown goat is excellent. If you intend to have more than one child, take more than one goat.
2.Buy your weekly groceries — without letting the goat(s) out of your sight.
3.Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys.
Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

Test 9: Feeding a one-year-old

1.Hollow out a melon.
2.Make a small hole in the side.
3.Suspend the melon from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.
4.Get a bowl of soggy cornflakes and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon while pretending to be an aeroplane.
5.Continue until half the cornflakes are gone.
6.Tip the rest into your lap, making sure most of it falls on the floor.

Test 10: TV

1.Learn the names of every character from the In The Night Garden, Barney, Teletubbies and Disney.
2.Watch nothing else on TV for at least five years.

Test 11: Mess

1.Smear peanut butter on to the sofa and jam on to the curtains.
2.Hide a fish behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3.Stick your fingers in the flowerbeds, then rub them on clean walls. Cover the stains with crayon.
4.Empty every drawer/cupboard/storage box in your house on to the floor, then proceed with Step 5.
5.Drag random items from one room to another and leave them there.

Test 12: Long trips with toddlers

1.Make a recording of someone shouting ‘Mummy’ repeatedly.
Important notes: there must not be more than a four-second delay between each Mummy, and include occasional crescendos to the level of a supersonic jet.
2.Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for four years.

Test 13: Conversations with adults

1.Start talking to an adult of your choice.
2.Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem or shirt sleeve while playing the Mummy tape listed above.

Test 14: Getting ready for work

1.Pick a day on which you have an important meeting.
2.Put on your finest work attire.
3.Take a cup of cream and put one cup of lemon juice in it.
4.Stir.
5.Dump half of it on your nice silk shirt.
6.Saturate a towel with the other half of the mixture.
7.Attempt to clean your shirt with the same saturated towel.
8.Don’t change (you have no time).
9.Go directly to work.
You are now ready to have children. ENJOY!

Walking Your Own Path

Several months ago I was interviewed by Hat Trick Magazine and featured on the cover of their October 2012 issue.
At first I was so excited to be asked to speak about my path on the way to Posh Brats.

I was honest....painfully honest.....about everything. I didn't want to be another one of those interviews that sugar coated everything like the stars had all alined and golden angels had come down in heavenly chorus and sprinkled pink glittery wishing dust over my life......because that would be a LIE!

Instead, I told the truth about how I got here...how much of this was being in the right place at the right time with a nose for what people want.
It's VERY long hours....most of the time around 14 to 16 per day, 7 days a week. It's about going months without taking a whole day off where you do nothing business related.....but THAT isn't what my point here is.

When that issue came out I excitedly shared it with my friends and family and those closest to me applauded the honesty and thought it was fabulous.....BUT...then there were the others.

I got SO many angry and upset e-mails from folks back home. They felt I showed my roots in a bad light and made them all sound like a bunch of ignorant rednecks because I did not wish to live their lives. It hurt and upset me that I was so harshly criticized for telling MY truth....not theirs....MINE!
I felt like saying.... Just because you choose to marry Bubba Redneck and have a passel of kids and a big ole pickup truck doesn't mean that also has to be MY life.
Sorry.....this little Point Cadet girl from Biloxi, Mississippi has ALWAYS wanted a different path. It doesn't make your path wrong and mine right....just different. That's why we are unique individuals.

The way they acted, you'd have thought I was saying they were all like this. *smirk*
Nothing could be further from the truth. Most Southern folks are as sweet as their iced tea and as gracious, kind, and loving as anyone I've ever met in my world travels. You cannot find better people....even if some of them are a BIT sensitive and disapproving of those of us who choose to escape for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.

 

Needless to say I pulled my britches up and got on with my groove on down the yellow brick road of MY destiny!

So, if you find yourself coming against criticism for the life you lead or choices you have or haven't made, this is for you!

Some Life Truths

Unless you are going through life kicking puppies, spreading disease, starting forest fires, murdering innocents, etc.

If you are walking YOUR own path and being true to YOU then guess what?? You ARE doing it right!!

It doesn't matter if it's not the vision someone else has for you, no matter HOW well intentioned they are.

"This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
Farewell, my blessing season this in thee!"

Hamlet Act 1, scene 3, 78–82

Wm. Shakespeare

  The basic wisdom of life is that you can only be yourself - you cannot be someone else. Why on earth would you want to be? What you are is so unique and so fabulous and there is only one of you. You might look just like your Mum, Dad, or Great Aunt....but.....you are uniquely YOU!

The only chance you have is to be the best version of yourself that is possible. Since you cannot be someone else, you need to make the best of what is possible in your life. 

In order to become the best version of yourself, your task is to find out who you really are, for what unique reason you are on earth, and what you love doing.

 Be the very best you that you can be and see what opportunities knock at your door and what possibilities you can create.

You have to choose your own way, you have to show what you do with enthusiasm and you have to mean it. It doesn't matter if this is what someone else expects or not; care about whether what you do is a good thing. Be accountable for you!!

Walking your own path means showing discipline, standing up for yourself when necessary, showing self confidence while being modest, moving beyond limitations and obstacles, and supporting the good, fair and just. Learn to endure difficult circumstances, and you'll have more options in life.

Be true and Authentic! If you are not true and authentic, you will never be able to find your own path, because you are walking someone else's path and vision. The world will respect you more if you are an authentic YOU instead of a copy of someone else. You have infinitely more to offer the world than you realize!

There is nothing wrong with asking for advice and even following it to a degree but only YOU can truly know what is best for YOU.

Don't let someone tell you that you CAN'T! As long as it's not illegal or harmful what the hell do you care what someone else thinks of what is best for you???

When someone tells you to not do what you would like to do, always ask yourself

 "How would this person benefit from you not following your plan? Or " What disadvantage would this person suffer from when you followed your plan?"

 If it is an unbiased person and somebody who wants your best, then you should consider listening to this person. However, keep in mind that even good friends might not be able to see the whole picture, or to understand why your chosen path is right for you.

Take a deep breath and find the courage to be yourself and give your all to what you choose to do. Walk that path and rock on with your bad self!!

Much Love and Light,

Brittany xx

Banished to the Naughty Step~ Bad Beauty Habits

I’ve been a bad bad girl......my skin is punishing me with red blotches, enlarged pores, blemishes, and general rotten behavior. Why?

It’s an ugly downward slope and completely unforgivable for someone who calls themselves a ‘Beauty Editor’. Shameful.....I wish I had a valid excuse but the truth is....Lazy....Bad Diet....Too Much Excess!

As I write this I am sitting at my desk drinking 2 litres of plain iced green tea with lots of fresh lemon squeezed and a sprig of rosemary (anti-bacterial) in it. That is my favorite quick fix for re-hydrating my body and thus my skin as well as detoxing.

I thought I would put together a list of bad habits we should all avoid to keep our skin looking it’s absolute best!

1. Do Not Over-Cleanse Your Skin!
If you have dry skin, you should only be cleansing your face with cleanser or complexion soap at night. You’ll be making your problem much worse than you realize!
Rinse with just water in the morning instead, and wash your face with cleanser at night.

2. Change Your Bedlinens
If acne's a problem, your pillowcases may be part of the cause. Pillowcases collect skin oil, dead skin cells, bacteria, and excess night creams; As you toss and turn, all of that is deposited right into your pores. Change your pillowcases at least once a week, but twice is better.

3. Get Plenty of Sleep
Chronic lack of sleep triggers a chain reaction of events that reduces collagen production, cell turnover, and barrier repair.
If you get too little sleep, your skin looks duller and drier, and wrinkles will form more easily.

4. Stop Touching!
Whenever you touch your face, you are transferring whatever is on your hands, such as oil and everyday grime, onto your skin, causing blemishes and aggravating existing blemishes. If you are one of those girls that is always playing with your hair, this goes double for you...your hands are covered in filth you can’t see!

5. Don’t Fall Asleep With Makeup On
This is probably the number one bad beauty habit on every woman’s list. If you don’t remove your makeup before bed, products can build up in your pores and cause blemishes.

6. You Do Not NEED A Tan!
I know that glowing golden skin can be quite enchanting; however, there is absolutely no excuse for continuing to expose yourself to harmful UV rays that can cause melanoma. There have been wonderful advances in the field of self-tanning in recent years. If you MUST be tan to be happy; go for a tasteful (No Essex Oompa Loompa Orange!) wash of faux colour.

7. No Dirty Brushes
You clean your hairbrush and change your toothbrush regularly, right? So why do you let your makeup brushes, which you use almost daily and put near your eyes, fall by the wayside? Try to clean your brushes once a week. Use a mild shampoo and let them air dry. If it’s good enough for your hair, it’s good enough for your brushes!

8. Stop Smoking!
Smoking will not only kill you, it makes you old and ugly....plain and simple! This should be a no brainer. If you smoke, it was time to quit last week. Make the effort to put down the cigs. If the fact that they are bad incredibly awful for you is not reason enough to quit (although it should be), then think about your skin. Cigarettes will make you look much older as they greatly contribute to a blotchy skin tone & deeper wrinkles.

9. Drunken Debauchery
Okay, it may be fun BUT... Every once in a while you like to wind down the day with a glass of wine, am I right? That’s fine. Going out to a club and drinking wayyy too much, than indulging in a few Bloody Mary’s the next morning? Not so good for you OR your skin. Booze increases the inflammatory agents in your bloodstream, which will eventually lead to premature skin sagging. No drunken night, as fun as it may have been, is worth saggy skin.

10. No Pickin’!
I know how tempting it can be to pop a blemish, but you really should try to avoid squeezing your blemishes at ALL costs. Messing with any blemish can cause the bacteria to get further in your skin, which could cause infection and scarring. You can either ride it out while keeping your face clean, or you can use a spot treatment like straight Vitamin E oil or Tea Tree Oil. Just avoid picking at all costs.

11. Water is Nature’s Magic Elixir!
Drinking water can clear up your skin and people often report a healthy glow after drinking water. It won't happen overnight, of course, but just a week of drinking a healthy amount of water can have good effects on your skin. Personally I try to drink 2 liters of water per day. You can also get your water allotment from non-caffeinated, unsweetened drinks like flavored water, herbal teas, fresh juices, etc.

12. Keep It Moist
Some people believe that using lots of moisturizer can increase your skin’s need for the product.Totally UNTRUE! Our skin cannot become dependent on a moisturizer. If you think your skin is dry, moisturizer is the best thing you can do for it.
Wind, cold temperatures and heated houses in the winter can all dehydrate the skin, which can cause eczema to flare up and make the skin itchy and dry. Prevention of this dryness by moisturizing is the single most important factor in protecting the skin from the elements and keeping it healthy.



There you have it....all things you can start right NOW! Don't you love when lists include things you can actually start immediately without the purchase of expensive creams, potions, serums, and "miracle" products?




Love,
Brittany xx

42 and holding.....

Allllllll Aboard the Passive Aggressive Train.....First Stop....RAGE!

 Let me start by saying, I have developed a seriously bad habit since moving to the UK over 7 years ago. I have started to become one of them in some highly unattractive ways......I have become Passive Aggressive.

This is something the British as a whole have perfected to an art. Americans by nature are normally Active Aggressive, they shoot from the hip and they are very rude, loud, opinionated and super aggressive. Not an attractive thing but one can grudgingly respect it to a degree.....You always know where you stand with an American....BUT it doesn't make it right or attractive. It's totally not.

I have failed my people! 
No, seriously....I want to be neither Passive Aggressive or Assertive Aggressive. These aren't good things! This is not the behavior of a person who is kind, thoughtful, giving, polite or most importantly for me, a person grants others a lot of "beingness".

The sort of person I strive to be is ASSERTIVE.
Assertiveness is the ability to stand up for ourselves and to say how we feel when we feel we need to but without being nasty.

 Let me explain here about the thing that is Passive Aggressive behavior and why it is so easy to get sucked into this very bad and negative behavior.

 

Has your internet been down?

Oh, I thought it might be because you didn’t answer my last e-mail.

See what I did there? That was passive aggressive. 
 It was my way of saying, “Did you read my last email? If you did, tell me you did. And if you haven’t read it, please do. And then write me back you twunt.”

Passive Aggressive is a very handy language. It allows you to get what you want without confrontation. Well, actually, you might be confronted, disliked and rejected because people are on to you and how annoying you are, so it doesn’t really work.

But here are some other examples of how you can use it:

Want to say, “I don’t like you and never will”?
  That will never fly. Instead, try mispronouncing the person’s name again and again, no matter how many times they correct you. If it’s Smith, pronounced " Smyyyth,” always pronounce it “Smiff.” Or, even more effective: try calling them by the wrong name altogether, and turning them into an non-entity. Endorra, Samantha’s mother on Bewitched, perfected this technique.

Want to say “I’m attracted to you and I’d like a date with you”? Don’t. What if they say “no”?  Instead, try breaking into their house and baking them a pie but one you know they are allergic to. It will send the person a mixed message, so they can’t accuse you of having the hots for them.

As you can see, passive aggressive comes in many flavors. To make it easy, I’ve broken them down into subcategories, along with examples.

11 main styles of passive aggressive, along with essential phrases (translated into normal person).

So you can become more fluent, or understand someone else who is.

1. Passive Imposing

Technique: Dropping hints in order to ask for something without asking for it. Or, requesting something in the form of an offer.

Phrases:

How’s your cheesecake?
 Or:
Wow, you hardly ate any of your cheesecake. Are you done already?
Meaning: I want to try your cheesecake; but I'm too afraid of looking like a pig and ordering my own.

Do you know of any low-cost hotels near you?
Meaning: I want you to invite me to stay at your house because I'm a cheapskate.

Hey, if you feel like it, how about straightening up a little?
Meaning: I want you to clean, you dirty so and so. Whether you feel like it or not.

2. Passive Resentful

Technique: Expressing hurt or pissed-off-ness with a benign question or a smile.

Phrases:

Hey, did you get the birthday gift I sent you in October? I checked the tracking number and apparently it was delivered, but I’m worried someone else signed for it and it never got to you.
Meaning: You never thanked me for my birthday gift, you rude asshole.

It’s so funny that you would buy a new Louis Vuitton bag when you owe me a thousand bucks. I’m not mad, I just think it’s hilarious.
Meaning: How DARE you buy something when you owe me money! Oh, I’m mad.

Did you have trouble getting here?
Meaning: You are late and rude and in my head I'm smacking you.

So, are you having a really small wedding?
Meaning: How come you didn’t invite me to your wedding? I'm hurt.

3. Passive Braggadocio

Technique: Boasting by quoting someone else’s compliment within a total non-story, or by embedding the boast in a supposedly interesting fact.
Phrases:

Oh my god, this guy last night was chasing me so hard. He was like, you have the most amazing body, can I have your phone number? He was so pathetic. It was really funny.
 Or:
I was trying on these jeans in the store and the sales girl was like, “you should be a model.” I was like, oookayyyy. Whatever.
Meaning: I’m sooooo hot and full of myself. And other people think so, too. Don't you wish you were like me?

George Clooney is actually a really cool guy. So down to earth.
Meaning: I know George Clooney! Why aren't you asking me how I know this? You should be impressed!!

4. Passive Insecure

Technique: Fishing for compliments.  An oldie but goodie.
Phrase:

Oh my god, I'm so fat. I've lost 20 pounds but I STILL can't see it!
Meaning: Don’t I look amazing and skinny. I've lost all this weight but you never celebrate my smaller ass. Say I look amazing!

5. Passive Irritated/ Passive Disgusted (strangers version)

Technique: Giving a bewildered, startled, bemused, or even admiring look when someone does something irritating or outrageously gross.

Phrases:

Whoa! What was that? [While whipping head around every few seconds as though newly startled.]
Meaning: Your public belching is both jarringly loud and grotesque.

Withering look, combined with hand fanning air in front of nose.
 Meaning: Oh you smelly bastards; don't you bathe??!!

Eyebrows raised in mock-impressed, “Wow” expression as shopper in supermarket piles basket full of super processed crap food on conveyor belt with screaming kids hanging off every surface.
Meaning: You’re a low class nobody who contributes nothing to society, and a terrible parent. The reason your children are demon spawn is because you feed them poison and e-numbers!

Excuse me, I think you dropped something!
Meaning: I picked up your litter, which I know you purposely dropped on the curb, in order to shame you. So, shame on you you disgusting creature!

6. Passive Irritated/ Passive Disgusted (friend/ acquaintance version)

Technique: Using an innocent, or faux-helpful statement or question to disguise disapproval.
Phrases:

I'm so glad you took my advice.

Meaning: I'm SO irritated you haven't credited me for your latest accomplishment you ungrateful twat!

Should I pick up those socks? I didn’t know if they were on the floor because you planned to wear them again…
Meaning: You’re a slob, and yes, I do mind cleaning up after you.

How’s your job search going? Won't you be glad when you are independent?
Meaning: When are you going to quit asking me for money and sponging off the government. I pay my taxes and you are a pathetic loser and drain on society!

7. Passive Impatient

Technique: Pretending you’re concerned or just curious when you just want someone to hurry the f*ck up.
Phrases:

Are you okay in there?
Meaning: Other people want to use the bathroom! What are you doing, polluting the planet?

Hey, just checking in because you hadn’t returned my phone call and I was worried something happened to you.
Meaning: Call me back. How rude are you?!

8. Passive Insulting

Technique: Using false praise or a question to hide a total insult.
Phrases:

Do you still go to the gym?
Meaning: Looks like you stopped working out you fat fuck.

You’re so brave, singing in front of other people untrained. I would never have the guts!!
Meaning: You have a horrible singing voice and I would never humiliate myself the way you do.

I’d have such a hard time being single. You handle it really well.
Meaning: I feel sorry for you that you aren't married; why are you so un-lovable?

That’s such a colorful outfit! What a unique style you have.
Meaning: That’s such a hideous outfit and you have absolutely no taste.

9. Passive Corrective

Technique: Feigning dumbness to show superior smartness.
Phrase:

Oh wait, is it en-dick-ted? I always thought it was pronounced en-die-ted.
Meaning: You pronounced that word wrong, fool. You are SUCH an uneducated moron.

10. Passive Defensive

Technique: Apologizing to say that you don’t owe an apology.
Phrase:

I’m really sorry if you took what I said the wrong way.
Meaning: I said nothing wrong, and you’re an overly sensitive pussy.

11. Passive Depressive

Technique: Fishing for sympathy.
Phrase:

Facebook status: “[NAME] has had it.”
Meaning: I am seeking attention. Ask me! Ask me!

There you have it, folks. You see....we who display this sort of behavior really are so transparent. You aren't fooling anyone.
Look, no one likes an openly aggressive person. I get it. So it’s easy to understand why people avoid confrontation and opt for veiled insults instead. But there’s a better alternative.

If you’re upset about something, address the issue face-to-face in a straightforward, professional manner. Don’t attempt to hide what you’re really feeling behind sarcasm or false politeness. Don’t hide behind your computer or an anonymous note.

Note to self: If you can’t say something out loud and in-person, it probably doesn’t need to be said.

So for 2013 I am adding a goal for myself......

Practice Assertiveness! It's much more likely to get the results I want.

Rocking the Planet...Going "Glocal"

The phrase "Think globally, act locally" is everywhere and seems to be one of those snazzy catchphrases coined by some clever eco-awareness organization.

You know the ones...preaching down at us lowly commoners and brow-beating our habits and practices while they drive around in their huge Cadillac Escalades and Range Rovers, eating imported Argentinian steaks and putting imported Sicilian blood oranges in their children's school bags. They think just because they buy free-range, organic and have some fancy solar panels on their houses and wear bamboo clothing that they are personally saving the planet. Yeah them....

I could write a whole scathing chapter on these sort of holier-than-thou ecogeeks......but that isn't what THIS segment is about. The fact is, I want to speak to you today about Going Glocal.....that means selling your wares globally but purchasing your materials locally and appealing to both local and global markets.

I know there are some of you out there that are perfectly happy to only sell locally or within your own country and if that works for you that is great. Before the economic crash I wasn't terribly worried about my global reach with Posh Brats. I felt there was more than enough consumer base in the UK to serve my needs. Right???

The answer to that was Yes and No. Yes, there is more than enough customer base for me here....but NO it would not serve my needs.
As we have all seen every economy goes through it's highs and lows and when you are in an online market you feel it even more. You need other markets to cushion those local economic blows.

Global business is big business and while it may sound quite glamorous...the fact is it's something that every small business needs to be concerned with. It doesn't matter where your web business is based or WHAT you do...once you force yourself to to think outside your target area....your customer base increases to amazing levels!

It's quite possible that you've engaged in Glocalization without even realizing it. If your business has a website, Twitter feed, Facebook page, etc.;You are already reaching a global audience. Chances are you may even have a handful of international customers....but you can have MORE without changing much but your attitude and your marketing approach.

What you need is the perfect blend of things that can appeal to your target markets. Identify the markets you wish to appeal to and reach and research the demographics for those markets. A great way to do this is to read online magazines and blogs based in these areas and see what is trending.

When I started Posh Brats, as an American I was dealing with my own tastes and knowledge of the American consumer. This meant that many of my scent and product choices were something that would interest mainly Americans.

I very quickly realized that what sold for me online was completely different to what sold for me in my shop. Part of this was because people shop differently in person and their minds can be expanded by the experience of seeing and smelling something in person. Online, you are only limited to your own ability to describe something correctly and how you can inspire your customer to visualize how your product fits into their world.

 Believe it or not, in the same way that every country has different cultures and cuisines; they also have different needs/wants/tastes in what appeals to their olfactory senses.

 

For example from my own experiences in this field, these are the types of scents that appeal to the majority of consumers.

US/Canadian: Foody ( cinnamon roll, strawberry shortcake, hot fudge), Ocean/Fresh (rain, ocean water, pine forest) and Perfumey blends (designer types, sophisticated blends like green tea, bamboo, aloe)

UK: Floral (lavender, rose, violet), Herbal/Nature (mint, tea, chamomile, honey) and Exotic (oud, sandalwood, nag champa, musk)

Western Europe: Fruity (raspberry, orange, melon, blueberry), Foody (gingerbread, buttermilk honey, vanilla, coffee) and Tropical (coconut, exotic florals, pineapple and ocean water)

Obviously those lists aren't to everyone's tastes as my customers tend to be quite open-minded and sophisticated and very willing to trust my blends....but to the appeal of the brand new or more traditional customer it's a very true to form idea.

To sum up Going Glocal with your own brand; the basic steps you need to put into action.

1. Review your company's historical sales data and identify your current markets and where your customers reside. Then seek to expand your understanding of that market and how you can hone it.

2. If you run an online business, download your sales data into an excel document and create a simple table of your top postal codes/areas and then review the correlating sales data.

3. Once armed with your historical data, you don't need local knowledge to research this to the nines. This is where your Google skills come in handy. Start reading locally targeted press, blogs and magazines.

4. Work smart and use post code and zip code tools online to research the demographics of where your customers are. You will soon find out the average per capita income, homes values, popular stores, etc. This information about your customers is invaluable.

5. Armed with all of this information, you will then be able to fine-tune your marketing strategy. No matter what form you use you will soon start to see the difference in your reach and sales.

6. When it comes to sourcing materials for your products, even if it means paying a little bit more....always use locally sourced materials with verifiable eco paths. It does make a difference and people will pay more for knowing what they are purchasing is to the best of your ability...ecologically responsible. You are already going to be selling globally and that is a huge part of your company's eco-footprint; therefore keeping a balance with your materials is essential!

If you are like us and use a combination of all of the main forms of online marketing such as email marketing, SEO, social media, pay-per-click and content marketing; you can easily begin to tailor your communications to target your customers exact wants and desires.

I have often been accused of having an almost psychic awareness of what my customers want. I wish this were true and the fact is sometimes I still can get it horribly wrong but I pay attention and listen to my customers. I take their feedback and emails on board and I make constant notes.
It's a LOT of work but trust me, it WILL pay off handsomely for you.

All of this aside, ALWAYS make your customer first and they will make you their FIRST choice!

Love,

Brittany xx 

All In Good Taste??

"Good Taste" sounds a little old fashioned and archaic nowadays, conjuring up images of old biddies with hats and gloves tutting over some neighbor's choice of new davenport or dinner-dance frock, whispering to each other,

 "Such poor taste, my dear, such poor taste. It ALWAYS shows in the breeding!"

Taste is relative, right? Hmmmm, maybe not.

"Good" taste is more broadly defined than it used to be, but it still exists. And people judge you on your taste... So, naturally, we get a little nervous when we have a dinner party or host an evening with acquaintances. No, I'm not talking about those REALLY close friends who can walk in our homes and flop down and happily eat cheese sandwiches and potato chips off paper plates with us.....I mean those OTHER people.

The good news is that, though you can't easily make yourself younger, taller, richer, or (very much) smarter, you CAN develop your taste!

But here's the REAL reason to want to develop a sense of good style and an eye for good design... It makes your life better every day. It makes life more satisfying and beautiful.

Who couldn't use more beauty in their lives.

Guess what, I know some of you are mumbling that it's too expensive but that's SO untrue. How many times have you seen people with loads of money and NO taste?!

"De gustibus non est disputandum"
(There's no arguing taste.)

We all have some things we like, some we dislike - personal preferences. Many preferences are quirky and individual: I like black, you like red; he likes chocolate, she hates it. (She's a freakin' WEIRDO btw!)
Personal preferences are almost impossible to argue anyone into or out of.
However, we can each, if we want to, cultivate a new taste.

Years ago I decided that I wanted to develop a taste and appreciation for Haute Cuisine. With this in mind, I read a reprint of one of the first reference works for chefs, Ouverture de Cuisine, written by Lancelot de Casteau and published in 1604, which set out rules for the preparation and presentation of food for the nobility.

This grew to my own kitchen experiments and years of learning. Today I can call myself a true Gourmand and more than a halfway decent cook.

Therefore, I developed a certain degree of taste in cuisine.

So what elements are important in good taste?

Good Taste is Appropriate to the Task

 Anything that hinders the activity or use it's meant to help is badly designed (for that use). Bad design is automatically in poor taste.

 

Good Taste Respects its Context

Have nothing in your life that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful.

 

Good Taste is Well-Designed

It's possible to choose things in socially-judged "good taste" which are just ordinary in quality and appearance, but truly good "in the best taste" requires beautifully designed things. Fortunately, you can find almost anything at any budget in both ugly and good versions. And beauty can sometimes be found for free.

 

 Part of developing good taste is becoming aware of the characteristics of the stuff we see and buy and use. Become conscious of color and form and function. Learn to spot the designer's hard work in simplifying things. It's the big reason Posh Brats products are so loved and coveted: good, simple, elegant design. I also think it's one of the main reasons why so many people are flocking to Etsy and buying handmade items....they are just classier and more beautiful than mass-produced crap.

"If you mention taste nowadays, a lot of people will tell you that "taste is subjective." They believe this because it really feels that way to them. When they like something, they have no idea why. It could be because it's beautiful, or because their mother had one, or because they saw a movie star with one in a magazine, or because they know it's expensive. Their thoughts are a tangle of unexamined impulses. "
- Paul Graham